Apocryphon of vicky

From where to start?

The god may differ from religion/country, but all dots are connected with one single thread called faith, miracles are still happening in everyone's life but still, some deny to accept it, and some will deny the denial people who don't accept it, in this post, I am not going to support any religion/god, I am just searching myself with this question of whoami in my spiritual path from which I got some answers which will help others to gain a clear vision or will help to skip some steps to attain true awareness.

I will start from age five, my grandfather use to fill me in his vinakyar temple where he is so called as darma gata(In simple words - he is Manager for the temple) and he was a devotee of Kirupanandha Variyar who is a spiritual teacher present in our nearby street.

My grandfather use to convey some miracles done by some mystic people to me when I was young, till the fifth grade I use to study in the temple, there I observe everyone who comes to worship, I can judge their suffering with their intense worship towards the god, but some prayers are still unanswered., After my grandfather passed away we switched the position to someone present nearby the temple who can able to manage the expense because at that time we had a financial crisis so with no choice we gave that position to another person who is spiritually active at that time, few weeks after his death I started my question of what is the purpose of life? from my grandfather death who always trusted the nature as a godly power.

What if I am a god and what is life?

Let's say if I am a god even with all supernatural powers it would be a void without any purpose, so as a god I will create my purpose to exist in this universe, to sustain my(god) purpose I divide myself as every form of life with my(god) part of the soul by that each life will suffer, survive, blissed and gain ultimate knowledge and as a god I will provide a purpose for that life to exist in this universe, if that life fails to accomplish purpose within his life span, he will attain to reborn till that soul accomplishes the purpose given to that soul.

After the purpose got accomplished that soul will break the birth cycle and be taken back to the higher form god which we call moksha from that soul I (god) will mine the knowledge even from rape victim to billionaire and with that, I will create another species/human/any life form to solve the more critical problem of his own life with that by the parallel that life form should posses action to achieve its purpose.

As a god, I will create people who believe in god and pray to him which will create a strong purpose of existence for the god, and also I will create both atheist and agnostic people who will deny the creator's existence. because even religious or people who have belief won't recall the existence of god, but atheist and agnostic does it without their knowledge.

To attain Enlightenment:

From the ancient siddhars/rishis, to the modern world only way to attain enlightenment is by meditation, we can awake enlightenment by which we can possess ourself more awareness, sustain the excessive knowledge and even we can reprogram reality with our positive awareness and focus, it may sound like crazy but for some, it is the unacceptable truth, unsolved mystics in science is classified under quantum physics where we still can't figure out those answers, from the occult to prayers everything falls under one criterion which we call it as faith, the meditation well possess the higher form when we practice it with intense. there you will find the answer of the void. concentrate on ajna at every moment if possible, many spiritual people have attended their enlightenment.

My view on vallalar:

Vallalar is one of the most famous saints when I was traveling to pattinathar temple in-between in the street I saw an old building where from the outside I saw a light burning in the lamp, but there is no statue or photo instead they are worshiping burning light in the lamp as a god, I don't know it is public/private place so I didn't plan to visit that place at that time and I didn't notice it in deep, but soon after someday I got a recommendation posted about vallalar, after few days I saw some videos about vallalar, from that I can be sure that he would have attained the enlightenment, even he reveals the enlightenment as a blissful state for humankind, and he had performed many miracles in his lifetime, he use to worship light where it has no mass, it reacts only with oxygen molecules and form a bright ray which is visible and can react with any solid state, in my view, every state of an atom's reaction is a power exhibited by an unknown form of energy.

Conclusion/beginning:

There are so many mystics and miracles are happening in and around the universe, but we still searching for math to derive the random events, but we can't learn the math of this random event instead we can manipulate it with our higher consciousness and awareness which we can obtain it from the intense meditation, I am not concluding this topic, I may revisit this content to change it with my upcoming miracle experience in future, so don't take this as an end of the spiritual roadmap, take this notes as a rough sketch to start your journey for enlightenment.

Recent experience:

I lost my father due to dialysis a year ago followed up I lost my mother due to brain stroke which can't even be treated by our modern medicine, Which took me to final decision that God is Dead/Their is no God, It is just a collection of pleasent/bad synchronicity It is just a lie which is used to maintain man self-controlled/ to make them to be afraid of breaking the customized rules and people who are already a self-controlled human being don't even need the imaginary X(god) in the life to lead, only pharse that works on common is Survival of the fittest.